Saturday, December 11, 2010

President’s Obama and Clinton a study in Double Birth Order

On Friday December 10, 2010 we all were witness to a very unusual event,
Two Presidents having a news conference sharing the podium.  This joint conference in itself was not what most people noticed.  It was the current President letting a former President run the news conference and then excusing himself, saying his wife was waiting for him. This left Bill Clinton to continue with reporters for another 30 minutes.

Double Birth Orders
Double birth orders occur when there are at least 4 school years between adjacent siblings. The greater the number of years the more like an Only child you become and less like your number of birth.  The Only child can be the most adult like of the birth orders. At a 4 yr separation you are 50% an Only and 50% your number of birth.

One Only and Only One.
From the aspect of birth order this behavior between Clinton and Obama was not at all unusual.  The strongest birth order is always in charge and that was Bill Clinton. Bill has a Double birth order of an Only/One having a step brother Roger 10yrs younger giving Bill more Only power. Obama is a One/Only birth order being only 6years older than his half/sister.  To the outside observer this acquiescence of the podium seems odd but not odd at all from the perspective of Double Birth Order theory.

If you would like to learn more about Double Birth Orders get my book Life's Fingerprint: How
Birth Order Affects Your Path Throughout Life  by Dr. Robert V.V. Hurst or visit my website

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Tom DeLay Texas ex-Congressman –The Stubborn #2

Tom Delay

Characteristics of the Second born  with older brother
Some of the traits of a second born are they desire to control their own space and
they do not want to be told what to do, by anyone! Usually a better athlete than the
firstborn and they are very competitive. When the first two children are boy the competition can
get very intense. They will try to dethrone the firstborn if they have a chance.  In this light let’s take a look at the life of former Congressman Tom DeLay.

Early Years
Born in Laredo, Texas April 8, 1947 his family moved to Venezuela when Tom was nine years old. His father was an oil –worker and wildcatter.  A tough guy and alcoholic he was tough on the family. When his dad caught him smoking at age 6 he made him smoke most of a carton of cigarettes.  When Tom didn’t get sick and kept smoking, he got a whipping. A second born will just not give in.  His older brother Ray is 3rys older, and has served time for a conviction for grand theft and is still having problems with the law. (Looks like Tom dethroned him.) Randy his younger brother is three years younger is a lawyer and lobbyist.  The youngest and number 4 his sister Tena a nurse.

In high school Tom played football on the offensive line and only weighted 140lbs. Bigger players underestimated him at their own peril as he was know for his fierce playing. He attended Baylor University for two years, majoring in pre-med but was asked not to return after his sophomore year due to several alcohol-related incidents.   He finished his education at the University of Houston.

Work Before Entering Congress
After college he began work for a pesticide manufacturer, then purchased a small exterminator business. This work was the source for his nickname, “The Exterminator.” This is where he first ran into Government regulations through the EPA.  The pesticide Mirex was outlawed, a very effective agent for fire ant control. He called the EPA, the “Gestapo of government.”  His fighting didn’t end here as he partnered with another exterminator company and a business dispute ended up in court. A number two just doesn’t give up easily.

Family Tragedy
In 1988 his father Charles Ray Delay was critically injured in a tram accident that he and his brother had built to descend the 200 ft bluff to Canyon Lake.  The brakes failed, it jumped the track, and Charles was thrown into a tree and died 27 days later. The family had to take him off  life support.  After the incident Tom cut off all communication with his brothers, sister and mother. What ever his reason, two’s find it very hard to change their minds once set.

Political Career
He started his political career as a state representative in 1979 and while sharing an apartment in Austin Texas he was known as a party guy and a lot of fun.  Still drinking he gave up alcohol in 1984 when running for congress.  It was also this time he dedicated himself to evangelical Christianity. In 1984 he was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives and became house Whip in 1995 and gained another nickname “The Hammer,” for his reputation for wreaking political vengeance on his opponents.
He resigned in 2006 after being indicted on charges of violating campaign finance laws. He was found guilty on money laundering and conspiracy, November 24, 2010, charges that may carry one to ninety-nine years in state prison. Sentencing will begin December 20, 2010.  Expect him to continue to fight. Number two’s don’t want to be told what to do even if they know they are wrong. Since leaving Congress he has co-authored a memoir, titled No Retreat, No Surrender: One American’s Fight.  A title describing a second born’s view of the world.

Dancing with the Stars
Some may find his participation in Dancing with the Stars out of character for even an ex-Congressman.  But he has a history of dancing from his High School days. When at Calallen High School in Corpus Christi, Texas he was the lead dancer in school productions. True to the athletic number two he continued to compete even with stress fractures in his feet, against doctor’s orders that he drop out of the competition.  Only stopping after the pain became too great.

Tom Delay could be a poster boy for the traits of the second born.  Expect him to appeal
the court decision. He won’t go down without a fight!

Friday, December 3, 2010

How to Survive Your Family During the Holidays: Understand Birth Order

It’s that time of the year when families are getting together. For some, these holiday get-togethers can be fraught with difficult family dynamics. But why? It’s just family, right? One answer is that when families get together everyone takes a step back in time and the pecking order—birth order—comes back into play. No matter that Joann is now a successful investment banker in New York City—she is still the baby sister to her older siblings, and is still treated the same way as she was when growing up. Birth order shapes your path throughout life, and these traits don’t change when you leave the nest, get a job, and have a family of your own. And when lots of family members get together, the personality traits come into play.

To understand them, here’s a quick primer on birth order and a way to understand your family’s dynamics this holiday season:

The Only Child

This child will go one of two ways: they may love having everyone around, something they missed as a child, or they will like solitude during the holidays and prefer keeping things low key. This birth order will be the most adult of the group—the go-to person if problems occur. Charles Schulz is a good example of an only child—he had a fascination with family and children all his life, as evidenced by his “Peanuts” comic strip.

The Firstborn

Similar to the only child, the firstborn is at the top of the family pecking order. These are the people who want to give orders and be in charge. One can get a mental picture of the firstborn’s approach by just imagining Hillary Clinton and Julia Child in the same kitchen—both of these firstborns would want to be in charge. If you are working with firstborns for the holiday dinner, one approach to keep holiday harmony might be to make the firstborns of the family responsible for different aspects of the gathering.

The Second Born

Don’t tell a second born what to do! The second born may still be acting out their sibling rivalry with the firstborn. The second borns may want to take the competition outside for some touch football. If the weather isn’t cooperating, any game where they can compete will do! If the second born is in charge of dinner, you can bet it will be as perfect as possible—the second child often tries hard to unseat the older sibling. Second-born Martha Stewart, home and entertainment perfection guru, is a good example of a second-born child.

The Third Born

These are the masters of relationships and will be the observers of the family in action, taking everything in. They make it their job to keep peace and keep everyone on an even keel. Laughing on the outside, you can bet they are feeling everything on the inside and won’t let it show. The third born will know just which family members should sit together at the holiday table. Third-born Barbara Bush, wife of one president and mother of another, is the perfect example of the all-knowing, all-feeling third born who doesn’t let her tender side show.  She is great at picking up vibes from people and can easily figure them out. 
The Fourth Born

They are ready to have some fun! As the true babies in the family, everyone takes care of them and they can be the grease to keep the family having fun and keep things from getting too serious. The holiday party won’t be at their house unless someone else is in charge. They prefer to sit at the little kids’ table, where they are right at home. Fourth-born Dolly Parton exhibits the playfulness of this birth order.

And Beyond

If you are from a large family, birth order starts over at the top for the children following the fourth child of the family. If you are a fifth born, you share the firstborn traits. If you are a sixth born, you share the second-born traits, and so on. But often the birth order traits are softened in these family members.

Some Variables

Birth order characteristics are not black and white and they can be influenced by many things—sibling deaths, divorce, blended families, and lengthy spacing between children, to name a few. For example, “double birth” family members are children spaced four years apart or more from their closet sibling. For instance, a third (and last) child born five years after the second born of the family would carry a Three/Only birth order. Double birth order children carry both characteristics of their orders, and in many cases the blending magnifies characteristics. If a two is stubborn, then a Two/Only is an immovable object!

For some holiday entertainment, have your family play the sibling birth order game:

·         List all of the family members and their ages:

                Anna 41, John 38, Sue 37, Becky 30

·         Identify the number of years between each successive sibling:

                Anna 3yr John 1yr Sue 7yr Becky

·         Assign birth orders:  Anna: #1 John: #2 Sue: #3 Becky: #4/0
 (In this example, Becky has a double birth order because there are more than four years                                              
   between her and her closet sibling.)

If you have a large group, give a name tag to each person identifying their birth order. It’s a great way to get the holiday dinner conversations going! Bon App├ętit!