Some psychologists think that birth order has the answer and they may be correct. The problem is, they make the solution look too simple. This will cause them to be right only a third of the time.
They use terms such as firstborn, middle child and last-born. Unfortunately, all these terms seem to be easy to understand, they are not. I will try to explain the complexities that will help you find your answer and your perfect mate.
The first step is to find your “Real” birth order. For some it is their number of birth in the family. For others, seven or eight different factors will change their “Real” birth order number.
Let us start by looking at the basic five birth orders and some of the issues for each.
Only
If you are an Only Child, your best match is a person with the same birth order of your most dominant parent. It could be any of the five basic birth orders.
Firstborn
Your best match is any lower sibling’s birth order in your family. Not true if you have been dethroned by a younger sibling. When this happens, you are no longer a Firstborn. Another factor, if your next sibling is four or more years younger, you have a Double Birth Order.
Second Born
Sometimes called the Middle Child. This term is meaningless if there are only two children or more than four children in the family. The second born should marry a Firstborn or anyone in a sibling position lower than themselves. If this second born dethroned the firstborn, they are no longer considered a second born. If the spacing between siblings or groups of siblings is 4 years or more they have Double Birth orders.
Third Born
Some psychologists refer to this position as the last born. Others see the Fourth born as the last in the sequence before it starts over with #5. The Third born should marry anyone in a sibling position older or younger than themselves. This works because they grew up understanding their siblings in these positions. Of course, if there are four or more years between siblings Double Birth order is in play.
Fourth Born
This is the true baby in the family. They should marry anyone with a birth order position higher than themselves. As families get larger, there is a better chance for the 4-year gap to appear between siblings. This makes for Double Birth orders and more thought should go into what your “Real” birth order actually is.
Marrying someone with the Same Birth Order
This is one type of love at first sight. Can it work? Yes, but it is very difficult. Having such similar personalities is like a reflection in a mirror, only one image can appear and someone must get out of the picture for this union to work.
As you can see, Birth Order may and can be the answer to a successful union. Many other factors come into play to find your “Real” Birth order. If you do this, you are looking at success. Nothing in life is as easy as it might first appear.
For more information about Birth Order and Double Birth Orders buy my book in both hardcover, audio and USB, formats.
LifesFingerprint: How Birth Order Affects Your Path Throughout Life by Dr. Robert V.V. Hurst
